Twitter Users Discuss the Importance of Doing Small Talk

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 8, 2023 6:00 PM EDT

The art of conversation is one that not everyone is as capable at as they might think. If you haven't been stuck in the middle of a hideously awkward back and forth before, you're probably one of the reasons that they happen. Spending precious minutes pontificating with an acquaintance about the weather or your weekend plans is what has caused a lot of people to claim that they really hate small talk.

Even if watercooler chat is your personal idea of hell, it can't be denied that it serves a purpose sometimes. This is the basis for an interesting Twitter thread that insists we take another look at this much-maligned communication style. Let's be honest, most people would rather exchange pleasantries than have to share their deepest traumas with a complete stranger, and you know what? Lighthearted topics don't have to be boring, or draining. It isn't bad all of the time!

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  • 01
    Font - Yell in a Strike @jelenawoehr Follow hot take: small talk is actually an extremely high-value social skill and people who "hate small talk" usually think that they should also be allowed to skip other social niceties like "considering other people's feelings" and "asking permission before giving unsolicited advice"
    via jelenawoehr
  • 02
    Font - Julie S. Lalonde @JulieSLalonde Yessss Follow The Live Laugh Love crowd loves to say "I hate small talk. Tell me your truest thoughts or STFU" but it's absolutely unhinged to think that you can get to that place without first building trust and breaking the ice.
    via JulieSLalonde
  • 03
    Font - Old Tup @sivomengro. 1d Replying to @jelenawoehr My only wish is that people on a first meeting wouldn't dive straight into "What do you do for work? Got family? Siblings? See them often? You married?" When all of those often have answers that are either grim or evasive. I want my talk miniscule - Weather, traffic, etc. 97 179 404 ₁ 28.1K Yell in a Strike @jelenawoehr. 1d This! bringing up the weather never forces anybody to awkwardly disclose to a brand-new social contactthat their weath
    via sivomengro
  • 04
    Font - Sandrene Mathews @iamsandr... 1d Replying to @jelenawoehr I'm an empath, but I hate small talk. My definition of small talk is talking for the sake of talking, though. You can still talk about "small" things with purpose, and I think that's the difference. 127 5 391 ₁31.2K Yell in a Strike @jelenawoehr 1d I don't think talking for no reason qualifies as small talk! I think small talk is more like "casual and low stakes conversation that may serve to establish a rapport between people to m
    via jelenawoehr
  • 05
    Font - GAW HIKE TRANS WRITERS Charles Waltz | #WGAStrong. 1d Replying to @jelenawoehr Depends. It can also mean that someone is neurodivergent, and so doesn't process social cues in the same way as neurotypical people, or has a history of interpersonal trauma, in which case it can trigger memories of masking their pain to appease others while feeling invisible. 11 1725 1,299 49.3K Yell in a Strike @jelenawoehr. 1d I'm neurodivergent and I usually find people on the autism spectrum do my favorite
    via jelenawoehr
  • 06
    Font - STRIN TRIKES ISABLE GOT Aoife "Fe" Baker @vivaciousv... .22h Replying to @jelenawoehr Okay but I am bad at small talk and I love just skipping right ahead to the juicy stuff about your favorite niche interests. instead. 01 27 56 13.1K Yell in a Strike @jelenawoehr. 22h I feel like light hearted niche interests ARE excellent small talk! A low risk, no landmines way to establish a connection. before anything that might touch on sensitive personal shit! (Which is fine to get into early but n
    via jelenawoehr
  • 07
    Font - ◆ David James Henry is on... . 1d Replying to @jelenawoehr I think that people who hate small talk hate it because they don't know how to perform it. It is a nebulous concept, and without practice, it can feel really intimidating.
    via David James Henry
  • 08
    Font - Lexa Power @lexapower Follow Replying to @HenryJames David and @jelenawoehr I've had really good luck with asking people which sports teams they like. Saying their team had a good game last night, or "too bad about the game last night" if their team lost is fantastic and has had a 100% success rate. Very easy to google sports team results. The weather can be a good backup if they don't like sports. "Hot out today" or "nice day today" is fairly universal and everyone is generally happy to
    via lexapower
  • 09
    Font - Keir Schmidt @KrrrSchmidt - 1d Replying to @jelenawoehr I always find small talk is the best way to learn how people communicate. Also, sometimes it's nice to just talk about nothing.
    via KrrrSchmidt
  • 10
    Font - DON'T KNOW cshermanrun.bsky.s... Follow @cshermanrun Replying to @jelenawoehr and @BittrScrptReadr "Can I be brutally honest?" "Probably. It's harder to be gentle and considerate."
    via cshermanrun
  • 11
    Font - Max The Solar Gu... @maxedoutsolar Follow Replying to @jelenawoehr Building rapport is an extremely valuable skill. Possibly the most important sales skill. No one buys from you if you don't sincerely care about their lives. And no one should, either. I view small talk as "what people do to avoid getting to know people" which is different imo.
    via maxedoutsolar
  • 12
    Font - Claire Jentsch @ClaireJentsch • 1d Replying to @jelenawoehr I'm also kind of fascinated that people don't realize small talk tells you *so much* about a person. You hate this weather? You don't function without morning coffee? You're impatient for this line to move? Congrats, you're already a character in my head.
    via ClaireJentsch
  • 13
    Font - Boulder The Birthda... @supersofa1 Follow Replying to @jelenawoehr I think people get stuck in the concept that small talk is "how was your day/look at this weather" when it can be talking about the last movie you watched or that new product at the store you think they should try cause you like it so much. Surface level still has a wide scope.
    via supersofa1

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